Just a little

Just a little bit

Just a little bit messy.

Just a little bit more

Just a little bit less, than you expected.

Just a little less than you expected.

Just a little bit disapointed.

Just a little disapointed in me.

She’s Atlas

Earthquake Alert!

Shaky hands expected to hold up the whole world and let it spin and spin

While she stands shaking for fear that she will never be enough.

The world spins by while she lifts the world pushing herself down deeper and deeper into nothingness

She cries she’s losing herself the more she holds up the world

The smaller she gets and the more she shakes

Until the world drops

She’s as small as she’s ever been but without the weight of the world upon her she can finally grow

 

Pacing Kitchen Floors

Pacing worn out kitchen floors

Listening to music that only seems to remind me of the times that make tears fall

Pacing between sharp objects not meant for the cuttting stuck in my mind

Monster in my head

Telling me to pick on and stay still

So I grab my pen instead

Back to pacing worn out floors with sad songs

Shaking away the bad thoughts like an adict shaking for their next hit

Too much to make dinner

Sharp temptaion meets me everywhere

Circling my kitchen to sad songs and sharp knifes

Hoping someone comes home before it gets too hard to keep walking

Questions floating through my head.

How many poems can I write about being a failure before I finally do something about it?

How many questions will I ignore the answers to?

How long will I continue being less than a human being, with no purpose and no strength?

When will I say enough is enough?

When will it really be enough?

When will I take action, ridding the world of one more worthless human?

One less waste of space for the world.

One more spot opening on planet earth.

When will I finally have enough of failing?

Running on Empty

Words won’t come

Full stop

No flow of information

Brain waves turned to lines

Apologies don’t seem to reach their targets

Tears falling from closed eyes

Brain dead

Mind numbed

Medicated into a person

Numbness replacing feelings

Tears with no source

Soul running on empty