Imagination is my enemy
My nemisis, my villan
Consistency is my friend
My shoulder to lean on.
It holds me up when everything is falling down
Consitently imagining ways for my life to go wrong
Leaves a funny taste in my mouth
It’s difficult to separate friend from enemy when they both seem to hurt
Today I’ve had one panic attack, two thoughts of suicide, and three I wish I was never born.
Those aren’t the real numbers , it just sounded better. It’s only been two hours since I’ve woken up and still the numbers keep climbing.
Sleeping is my sanctuary, my escape
Except when she brings her friends nightmares and memories too close for comfort.
It seems my enemies have invaded my safety.
What is safety?
I haven’t found safety in my mind in a long time
How I long for a safe place for my thoughts to rest for my friends to gather without risk of invasion.