War Cries

My mind is a battlefield
It knows the horror of war.
But wounds inflicted and received here pain the same enemy.
Thoughts dressed up in battle armor fighting for jurisdiction
My mind has lost control.
I am the only one not fighting for it
I stand frozen wondering who will win
What will my fate be?
Thoughts toss back and forth
Followed only by memories
Love and hate
I watch not knowing who will win
I am a statue who can only be brought to life by the most destructive or the most kind
I seem to be fueled only by my own blood, only move when my head is on the brink of explosion
Inside there is destruction.
Outside there are bright eyes and questions.
Through my eyes I see what they are fighting for.
Hands shake
Eyes close
decisions and lies
What will I reach for?
Lifeline
Or
Sharp edges
That promise to make it stop
I have noticed that thoughts never stay inside
Released they must be
But there are too many ways of doing this.
I wish it were simpler.
But my thoughts don’t always remind me of all my options.
Lately they seem hell bent on my destruction.
They are tired of fighting you see
They are tired of making my decisions
They are tired of their own blood.
I am tired of watching battles that are never won
I am tired of nearly exploding
I am tired of shaking and closing my eyes
Only to open them again.
I am tired of nights that know everything but sleep
I am tired of eyes that only seem to know tears.
I am tired of nights whose only company are memories.
I am tired.
I just want to sleep, I just want peace.

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