Ocean of Memories

My head is sick with a hurricane
The illness has yet to be officially discovered
But I can think of no diagnoses more true
It always starts with a nice calm breeze full of sweet memories
But instead of dying down and gently setting my hair on my shoulder again
It speeds up
Whipping everything out of place as
Sweet turns to bitter
Bitter turns to heartbreaking
Heartbreaking turns to the tsunami wave of panic I can’t escape
I am panicking like there is a wave washing everything away
These tides of horrifying memories
Leak through my eyes
As I get knocked down onto my side
The only safe place is a bathtub curled up like a baby in a womb hidden under a pile of blankets.
Unfortunately, there is no forecast to rely on
This illness is not seasonal
This affliction is year round
No warnings, no sirens
It is hard to sleep with a hurricane in your head.
Convinced if I close my eyes just for a second
I will drown
Drowning in memories
I have tried to escape the waves for too long
I don’t know how to stop a mind from drowning.
All the advice I’m getting doesn’t seem to come from people experienced in hurricanes
They say bring an umbrella
I do, but my umbrella is stolen by the wind
They say wear rain boots
I do, but my boots do not stand a chance against an ocean.
I do not know what can stand against an ocean


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