Leaning

I am too much
And somehow never enough
My only purpose seems to be taking care of others and containing myself.
They say lean on me, but when I do I only fall to the ground.
Somehow their apologies never make the bruises disappear any faster.
In an almost natural reaction I curve my leaning habits.
I stand or fall myself, not falling for any distractions.
And then a new face appears
A handsome face
A trustworthy face
And out of his beautiful mouth I hear whispers
Lean on me
Trust me
I can not disappear
I am growing bigger and bigger here with you.
I have strength and I can carry you too.
So gradually I fight my instincts and
I begin to lean
At first just a little and you accept
Calling for more and more
And then I lean, I lay my burden on your shoulder.
And that’s when I see the panic set in, the sweat drip down and the nervous smile.
And that’s the moment I know, the moment after I lean that you will not be with me when I fall.
No matter how many times you say it’s not the case somehow it seems to happen
But only after I cannot stop my momentum and
I fall alone, as always.

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